A year ago, I felt a sort of uncertainty. I didn’t know how much my life was going to change me and boy was I in for a surprise. There were rough experiences. Part of it was accepting and letting go of what wasn’t or was never truly there. Another was experiencing that, people who you imagined would always be there, may not be there one day. Yeah, it was another year of new kinds of heartbreaks, but it was somehow simultaneously graceful.
The most important lesson that I learned was a lesson about limits. I often idealize how much I can accomplish often driven by my infinite obsessions and how I see potential in everyone and everything. Whenever a relationship with my friends and family turns negative, I tend to blame myself for all the bad. I analyze it and no matter how much I try to stop, I cannot stop analyzing it until there’s a more satisfying conclusion. Well, I learned that sometimes, you won’t get that closure. You cannot see every aspect of every circumstance, and no matter how hard you try, you will never be 100% understood nor will you ever understand someone else 100%. Also, you may have acted a certain way, or with the best of intentions, but not everyone will know or understand that. It goes the other way around too. So, what did I learn to do? Well, simply acknowledge those limits. That “I’ve done all I possibly can” moment is so important! Why? That’s when you leave the rest up to Jehovah. Let me tell you, that right there, that lesson has transformed the way I view difficult situations and has granted me a sort of control. It has given me an unimaginable peace!
After dusting my hands, I was able to focus on one of my life-long goals: need great in another country. This alone has brought me an infinite amount of blessings! The destination? ECUADOR! In September 3 friends and I went together and let me tell you, these friends, they’re like family now. I didn’t think it was possible to love them even more, but somehow it is! (love you gals! ) Then there were the people we met, stayed with and traveled with while in Ecuador. All were inspiring and incredible. It was something else I learned: just when you think you cannot push yourself any further, you meet someone like yourself who proves to you that you totally can. I must’ve been in my true element, I felt like I found pieces of myself on that trip that are now part of me.
During the trip, we went to an Island to preach. Now, before even arriving to Ecuador, I was warned by a friend that at one point, you may hit a low. As much as I was in self-denial, I definitely had my “Jonah moment” there. As a huge animal lover, it was hard to see hungry animals roaming about. In fact, the very first morning of preaching, I had to pray and I told Jehovah that was my limit. I couldn’t be there, I couldn’t do it..
…so he would have to take over. Sure enough, I noticed my friends feeling the same way, but by that point I was already in peace. I had agreed to just leave it up to Jehovah.
So the account on Jonah where he feels bad for the plant that shrivels up and dies and Jehovah reasons with him that if he cared so much for a plant he didn’t even make, shouldn’t the people of Nineveh, who are more important be cherished with more reason? Absolutely! On that island, there were people listening, children coming from all over to watch the Caleb and Sophia videos, and many bible students. I viewed the animals with such sympathy because they were starving for food, but that doesn’t compare to the fact that Jehovah views those people with such sympathy because they’re starving for the truth. It is for them why we went, and once that kingdom comes, the people and animals will no longer suffer. I’m a servant of Jehovah first, animal lover and vegan comes after.
After Ecuador, one of my friends and I went to New York where we met up with my friend and sister. That trip was another story, specifically the rental car drama we went through when we drove from New York to Canada (I’ll talk about this some other time).
Upon arriving home, I’ve felt like everything is different. Home is great! I have adapted but there is a difference with everything I do. I am more determined than ever before to be the best I can, but I feel a type of gracefulness with my life and I now have more prospective goals to work towards that keep me motivated along with amazing friendships. Truly, it is all thanks to Jehovah.
2018 was a memorable and high travel year for me. Places I went to were:
- Washington (March)
- Oregon (March)
- Florida (August)
- Colombia (12 hour layover in August)
- Ecuador (September)
- New York (October)
- Canada (October)
2019, is going to be yet another year of travel! 2019, watch out!
Hasta la next post!